because my soul is not a raisin 

no excuses

Service of the heart refers to prayer. (Taanis 2a)

I have been sick this week with an exhausting sinus cold and could be categorized as "knocked out". Davening has been a real chore. I tried but it is hard to say that it was a best effort. My head has been killing me and I am weak.

Then I head this story: Someone went to Rav Mendel of Kotzk complaining about severe headaches and his inability to concentrate during prayer. The Kotzker told him, "What does the head have to do with prayer? Prayer is with the heart, not the head."

It's hard to be a Kotzker chassid.

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some things are better left unsaid

Reb Yitzchak Vorker and Rav Menachem Mendel of Kotzk were the best of friends. Even after they became the rebbeim of different towns they still kept in touch. In fact, every week, there was one special Jew, a chosid of Rav Yitzchak Vorker, whose job it was to deliver letters between the Kotzker and Reb Yitzchok every Friday. He would start out at his rebbe's home Friday morning to pick up his letter for the Kotzker. Then he would walk for several hours through the forest to the Kotzker. There, he would deliver the letter to the Kotzker who would go into his room, read the letter and then write a reply letter. The man would wait for him to finish and then bring the letter back to his rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Vorker.

This man felt privileged to do his job and carried it out faithfully every week for many years. During that whole time, he never dared to open one of the letters and violate the intimate bond between the two Tzadikim.

However, one Friday morning, after the man had left Vorka with his rebbe's letter, his was struck with a bizzare yetzer hara. He felt compelled to open the letter and read what the Tzadik wrote to his lifelong friend...

He carefully opened the letter, so that he would be able to close it again without the Kotzker being able to tell that it had been opened. When he did, he was shocked to see what was on the paper... Nothing!

read the rest of the story at dixieyid.blogspot.com
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thou shalt not believe

The Kotzker once taught that every trait has value. Rebbe, of what value is heresy or doubt? - a cynic asked. The Kotzker thought for a moment and responded: When a beggar knocks on your door – don’t believe that der abishter vett helfen – that God should help him. Take out your wallet and give him money.
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internalizing the message

The Kotzker Rebbe said this about himself: When I was a youngster, my teacher used to tell many, many stories of the previous generations. He told the stories and I listened. I endeavored to allow those stories to penetrate deep within my heart where they were able to make an indelible impression; an impression which influences me no less today, many years later.
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it's good to be bothered

 

Once someone went to the Kotzker bothered by doubts in faith. The Rebbe said, "Nu, so you have sfeikos in emunah."
"But I am sometimes not sure of the existence of Hashem, " the man said. 
"Nu, the Rebbe said, "so you are not sure of the existence of Hashem."
"But if Hashem does not exist, then the whole world is hefker," the man said.
"Nu", the Rebbe said, "so the whole world is hefker."
"But the thought that the whole world is hefker is very tormenting and disturbs my sleep," the man said.
"If the thought that the whole world is hefker does not let you sleep, then you are a real maamin," the Rebbe said.

The real problem is only when it does not bother you. 

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Hashem is with you wherever you go

 

 

Parshas Bo
"And Hashem said, Come to Pharaoh..." (10:1)
Why doesn't Hashem say to Moshe, Go to Pharaoh?
The Kotzker says that a person cannot go anywhere without Hashem. 
So Hashem said to Moshe 'Come with me to Pharaoh, I am going with you'.

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SOS: save our souls!

Once they asked the Kotzker if he was such a "Tzaddik" why he didn't raise the dead to life.  He answered them that to raise the dead is not a problem, a bigger challenge is to revive the life of those already living… for this a real miracle is needed.
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